I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
