This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
