its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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