He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
