Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
