Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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