I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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