I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My feet surprised me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
