Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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