Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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