No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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