But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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