you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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