wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
