I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
