this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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