rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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