I want to make a zoo with you.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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