Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
