Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
