Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
