I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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