How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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