Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
