He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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