This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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