i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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