so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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