so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
