im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
