she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
