i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
