Define "chronic" masturbator.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
