hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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