well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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