Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
