brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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