The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I party with great urgency now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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