I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
