do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
