you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
