i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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