Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
