yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
