Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
