What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
