Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
