We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
