are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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