This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
