Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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