Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The feeling are messing with the penis
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
