Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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