Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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