So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We named our party play list daddy issues
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
