The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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