do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
