dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
