i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
