I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize