do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
