just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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