and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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