woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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