I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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