You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
