I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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