U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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